Thursday, March 29, 2012

a good day.

Today was a good day.

Jia and I wore matching outfits.
No, we did not call each other and plan it.
But I won't say her fashion choices don't influence my own... ;)
{Her baggy jeans that are meant to be jeggings. :) }

It was a GORGEOUS day for March 29th (this Spring has been insane!)
so we spent some time in my parents' bea-U-tiful backyard.
I love how much space my kids have to run & play
and I don't have to worry about them getting lost or hurt.
Just falling out of the treehouse or into the creek or getting bit by a fox. ;)
{Can you spot Jetty?}

I made the boys some organic mac & cheese
with my mom's raw milk & homemade raw milk butter
and had to smile about that one.
My kids have no idea how good they have it.

I found the perfect nude heels for my Easter dress today
and for a sa-weet price.

Jia Rose is 6 weeks old today
and she chose today to smile AND coo at me for the first time!
She must have read her 6 week update email
and wanted to make sure she was hitting all her developmental milestones. ;)

I went to see my midwife for my 6 week checkup
and was told everything is back to normal and looks like
I didn't even have a baby!
Which is awesome to hear after you've pushed out child number 3. :)
AND I'm 2 pounds away from my weight goal!
(I'm keeping on an extra 5 while I nurse.)
Looks like my rigorous regiment of
running (chasing my 2-year-old),
weight lifting (carrying my 10 lb baby everywhere),
burning calories left & right (nursing non-stop),
& diet (whatever I can get my hands on...mostly cookies)
is paying off!! :)

And I finally ordered this beauty...{But I cheated & ordered it from Buy Buy Baby
where I had a coupon & giftcard!}

And last but not least...
tomorrow is Friday.
And I have a hot date.
I might even wear heels.
And lipstick.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

1 year ago today.

1 year ago today
I was sitting in a dark hospital room,
holding my husband's hand,
and when the silence would become too much,
he'd say, "this sucks."
And it did.

We were patiently awaiting the arrival of a baby girl
that would never get to take her first breath of air,
never get to smell lilacs in full bloom,
or feel a warm summer breeze brush her skin & ruffle her hair.
She'll never have a ring slipped on her finger & kiss the man she loves,
or have her daddy walk her down the aisle
or feel her own baby move & grow inside of her.
But she gets to do something we can only dream of...
She gets to rest in the arms of Jesus,
with no heartache, failure or pain.
Her journey is complete,
while ours is still being written.

Sometimes I try to talk to her...
Tell her I love her.
And then I wonder if she looks down...
and knows I'm her mama.
When you're up there,
do you care what's going on down here?...

Today
I thought about the daughter I'll never know in this life.
And wondered what she would have looked like,
who she would have been.
All while holding a completely different baby girl.
Life is strange.
But it is good.
I'm so thankful for my precious Jia.
For being the mama of a daughter.
Jia will never take the place of her sister
but she sure is a soothing salve on the wound.
Especially today.
I thought today would be a good day to embrace the camera,
something I haven't done in far too long.
So Jia and I spent some time cuddling
and documenting it.
{Jia Rose ~ 5 weeks}
(Jia's "embracing" baby acne & eyebrow cradle cap. ;) )


"God is {SO} gracious."


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

firetrucks & rainbows

This past Saturday we went to Lawrence, KS
for the annual St. Patrick's Day parade.
We went last year on a whim and had such a great time
we decided to plan on it this year.
Firetrucks are, of course, a fav with our crowd.
...all 17 of them. ;)
Jeff's sister lives in Lawrence
so we go often to visit her fam.
Her 3 kiddos...
My parents spent spring break
on a senior cruise with my sister
so we kept an eye on my little brother Connor for the week.
My boys adore him so they were thrilled when he agreed
to go to the parade with us. :)
Jia Rose was sporting some major baby acne this weekend.
She's still precious sleeping on her Auntie Kayla though. :)
I really had to force myself to include the following photo.
I'm really not loving myself in pictures these days.
My face is still puffy from my pregnancy
only I don't have my cute baby bump {mountain?} to balance it out anymore. ;)
But I'm trying to keep emily's "embrace the camera" philosophy in mind
and remember that I'm doing this for my kids and they'll want to see
photos of me someday and could care less how I look.
...right?
A plus would be that my hair has finally reached
the "hippie" length I was going for.
Just in time for me to want to cut it all off cause Jia
seems to think its her own personal harness. ;)
Seriously, she grabs on for dear life.

I love this instagram of her & Kayla.
Just picture her bobbing her head like a chicken.
She's trying so hard to hold her head up. :)
Aaaaand the drive home.
You know its been a good day when you're backseat looks like this. :)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

So of course I had to make Jia a special St. Patty's Day outfit. :)
I liked the concept of the outfit I made last year for a customer
but wanted a different execution...or I should say media...this time.
So I stuck with the rainbow but did it in watercolor.
I wanted it to have a dreamy feel and am really happy with how it turned out.
I first tried this method for the clouds on my hot air balloon onesie
and I think I might start making more this way!

Hope you all had a great St. Patrick's Day!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

her name

I thought I would provide a little background
on miss Jia's name since you all were so wonderful
in providing suggestions when we were at a loss. :)

I really struggled to come up with another girl "J" name
that I liked as much as Jemma.
I just LOVED that name and couldn't think of anything else.
But while mourning her, I felt God directing me to some scripture
and thought maybe He was telling me to name our next child
(boy or girl) Jasper.
That was the name I was pretty stuck on
but Jeff was not a fan.
And I just cannot name my child something that my husband doesn't like.
Granted, he doesn't help much with suggestions and ideas
but he DOES give his opinion when he does or does not like something. :)
And in all honesty, I wasn't quite sure if that was really my baby's name.
{This is why we don't name our children until birth!! I'm so indecisive!!}
That's when I called on the help
of friends, family, fellow bloggers and blog readers. :)
So Jia was a suggestion from a friend of mine on facebook
and it was the only name I hadn't heard/thought of that wasn't an instant "no".
So I casually mentioned it to my husband
and waited for him to veto it.
Much to my surprise he was like, "hmm...I kind of like that!"
So we started mulling it over and I started researching it.
{Cause that's what I do.}

Jia Rose
{pronounced JEE-uh}
originally spelled Gia
is Italian and means
"God is gracious"

Whoa. Now that's a sign.
I mean, could God have been any more gracious
in gifting us this beautiful baby girl?
He gives and takes away.
Blessed be His name.
{Jia - 4 weeks today}

I don't know how I came up with Rose.
But it sounded old and vintage
and my great grandma Margaret whom I adored
always loved roses as did my Grandma Jan
and both meant so much to me growing up.
And again, Jeff really liked it and thought it sounded vintage too.
I think he even used that word. ;)
I couldn't believe it - two for two!

So we pretty much knew that we had found our name,
and the more we said it and the closer we got to baby's arrival
the more we knew. :)
Jeff even took a pretty big risk {in my opinion!} and ordered
her name for my Vintage Pearl mama necklace weeks before we had her.
Then I saw her and that was her name.
And I love it.

The end. :)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

hello my name is jaymin, and i like to do drowrings

Did you ever see that SNL skit with Mike Meyers?
Love him. :)

Before I dive into today's post
I just HAVE to share...
I didn't even realize it until a couple of days ago but
the bridal shower my sisters & I threw for my new sister-in-law
was featured on the Love The Day party blog!!
What!?!? I know, right?? :)
So pumped about that.
Check it out here.

I know the school year is going to start winding down
pretty quickly now that its spring break
and I've already seen some papers and projects
make their way home as a result.

I was going through Jaymin's backpack the other day
and found these {hilarious} drawings he did at school.
He has "centers" that he always tells me about
and I'm thinking at one of the centers
maybe they're supposed to write their name
and then draw a picture of anything they want?
These look like they were pulled out of a notebook or journal maybe.

Anyway, I thought I better document them
in case something happens to the hard copies. :)
Did you all forget I had other children?
I know its been a bit of a Jia-fest around here lately
{and its still not over ;) }
so I thought I'd give you a break from her preciousness. :)
This first drawing is of Jaymin's "DS" and it was done in early January...
The reason its so funny
is because Jaymin did not in fact get a DS for Christmas.
We just could not justify 200 bucks for a 5-year-old's Christmas present.
Its kind of funny {sad?} though because we've had
lots of conversations about it since Christmas...
"mom, why didn't Santa bring what was on my list?"
"well honey, Santa knows what's best for you
and he brought you other cool gifts."
{Insert
sheepish-sort-of-guilty-but-deep-down-you-know-you-did-the-right-thing
face here.}
I just thought this one was sweet.
Caption:
"My dad. He is saying hi to me when he is home from work."
Which is basically the boys' favorite part of the day.
And I'm not even jealous a little bit. :)
This one is for my dad.
Caption:
"I drew my grandpa and he went in reverse
and pulled out a tree in his yard."
My kids love their grandpa.
And I love that he's always doing something with heavy equipment
that my boys find fascinating. :)
Loooove {singing that word} this one.
Yep. That's me.
With my big prego belly. ;)
This one is just sweet.
Jaymin drew himself, Jett and his little sister.
All at the appropriate heights. :)
This one...yeah...
This one makes me nervous for what he tells his teachers...
You know, every parent has that fear.
Jaymin asks A LOT of questions around here
and I ALWAYS answer them.
But I try to do so at his appropriate age/maturity level.
But he's very open & social and remembers EVERYTHING
{even conversations we wish he hadn't overhead
and definitely wish he didn't remember. :) }
Anyway, its a good thing I adore his teachers
and have gotten to know them over this year. :)
Caption:
"This is my mommy saying goodbye to my daddy."
Not really sure why I'm upside down...
And finally,
this is a drawing that I GUARANTEE my husband
did at some point in school to get out of the assignment.
Caption:
"an invisible something"
Uh-huh. Guess someone didn't feel like drawing that day... :-P
Jay on "Cat in the hat" day. :)

Okay. Fine.
A little dose of Jia for your viewing pleasure. ;)

Thursday, March 8, 2012

the birth of jia

Well, I'm finally taking a moment
to write and share the story of how Jia came to be.
I will say that I was not thrilled
with how long she took to come into our world.
I expected a quick delivery like I had with Jett,
I mean, I earned it right?, being that she IS my third...
But I guess that's not how it works.
And frankly, it was a weird labor.
Not at all what I expected.
It was strangely similar to Jaymin's but with a shorter active labor.
Okay, I'll just start from the beginning...The morning of Wednesday February 15th I had a doctor's appointment
and had gone back and forth over whether or not
I should have my midwife, Jeane, strip my membranes.
I was 39 weeks (and a day I think) and dilated to a 4.
This whole pregnancy I wanted to go into labor naturally
without any interference whatsoever.
Well, once I hit the 39 week mark and nothing was happening, I folded.
I guess I was spoiled from having babies at 38 1/2 & 39 weeks.{like my post labor hair? Its the next big thing.}

So my midwife went ahead and stripped my membranes
but she wasn't real optimistic about it starting labor.
She just wasn't sure my body was quite ready.
But I guess that's the whole thing about stripping membranes...
If you're ready, it works,
if you're not, it doesn't.
So after she told me that I was like,
okay, we're not having a baby for awhile,
I'm not going to mess with it anymore.
So I went home and did absolutely nothing.
I took a nap, I sat on the couch, etc.,
which is the complete opposite of what I did with Jett.{my sweet midwife - love her!}

Well, that evening I start having fairly consistent contractions.
And by 10:30pm they're getting closer & stronger
and I can't sit down anymore.
So we call.
And head to the hospital around 1:30am.
It takes awhile to get checked in and set up
and my midwife breaks my water at 2:45am
(and we found out baby girl did in fact have hair ;) ).
And then we wait...
And walk...
And wait...
And walk...
My progress was steady but slow.I used the exercise ball a lot
and towards the end, hung on Jeff through contractions.
It was so difficult laboring through the night because I was so exhausted.
At one point I took a short nap in the bed,
and then as I was getting closer to transition
and hanging on and swaying with Jeff,
I actually fell asleep after a contraction
standing up and he had to catch me!
I don't ever remember being more exhausted in my life!
About 6am I started making pushing noises
even though I didn't think I was pushing.
At 7:15am I was a +2 or +3, 90% effaced and dilated to a 9.
And Jeane realized I had a "lip" or "shelf" in my cervix
that just didn't want to dilate.
(Just like my labor with Jaymin!)
So she shoves it aside, {FREAKING OUCH!!}
boom, baby girl comes down and I push twice,
as hard as I can, and screamed,
LOUD
and she was finally here at 7:19am.It was crazy painful and ridiculously long {in my opinion} for a third baby
but once she was HERE, and crying
{oh, how I longed to hear that baby girl cry!!}
it of course, was all worth it. :)

I couldn't help but be a little disappointed in myself though.
I probably shouldn't have stripped my membranes.
I probably should have labored longer at home,
maybe tried to go to bed that night.
I should have fought the nervousness and anxiety that overcame me
once we were checked into the hospital.
Which I think was from not being sure if my body was ready,
being nervous about a possibly long labor,
anxiety related to Jemma,
and possibly anxiety about this maybe being my last baby.
Jeane thought my mental state was definitely affecting my labor
and that frustrated me even more.
Especially because I felt so in control with Jett.
And I feel so strongly about mind over matter and staying "in yourself".
But I guess there was so much more baggage linked to this pregnancy.
Bottom line is,
she's here,
she's safe,
she's healthy,
and I still had an all natural, drug-free birth.
I can nitpick my delivery to death
but its not going to change anything.
And that's okay.On a more positive note,
my recovery has been super fast (which, it usually is),
and I pretty much felt back to normal 5 to 7 days after delivery.
Which is awesome considering my life has not slowed down at all. :)

Here are some fun photos of the boys meeting Jia...
The day after she was born,
Daddy picked up Jaymin from school and took him to a special lunch.
Then Jay got to come to the hospital by himself for the afternoon.
I guess the tv was more entertaining than his new sister. ;)
Jia Rose wore the same outfit home that I did.
It says "take me home" - hilarious and so "80's". :)
I love it. :)

She's 3 weeks today.
And more beautiful than ever. :)